Amour-Propre

In the archives of thy lonely mind
Destruction began many ages ago
Pretend of calm on the periphery
And absolute chaos way below

But to experience the sorrow again
You'd supplicate lasting an eternity
Re-living afflict, dejection and illness
And re-tasting all of its diversity

An element of vanity you carried within
That mirror certainly hated thee every night
And late hours, spent in pure admiration
While the body laid awake in destined fright

'Hide your love away', in Lennon's vocals
Dancing bare feet to it, you moved slowly
It's Beatles night tonight, they said on the radio
'Love will find a way', continued the melody

You shocked my being with current of that body
So I got to witness the true madness within
How you let your lonely self befriend my pain
For all I cared, took me for a manic spin

Do not let the spirit divide this time around
Close all windows and lock all the doors
How long will it fight, the poor soul that is
Let it drag around outside the four walls

There's that face so familiar once, I recall
Supplied with excessive pride, for years to last
With the shadow I'd now keep outside my door
Of that atrocious ghost from my modern past

Exclusion

Days spent in the confinement of solitary
Words spelled backwards often involuntary
Oblivious to horrible tragedies all around
Mother do not cry, father do not drown
In sadness now intertwined with this story
Of less bright days for which I'm so very sorry
An empty playground during recess it so seems
Think no one will respond to these silent screams
Imaginary patterns drawn somewhere in the mind
Wish you saw the rare beauty that often unwinds
Instead the gruesome world just sees the chaos
Witnesses the yelling and offers grams of pathos
Perspective it is that stands segregated from them
Some poke fun, give honorary titles of stupid & dumb
But mother do not get sad, and father just pretend
That I'm special and strangers will not understand
Just for today take rest and do not research any cures
Ignore all colorful fliers and all the flashy brochures
With open arms today accept this ill fated realism
And embrace this disorder, or my so called autism

The Bastard Of Slovakia

Surrounded with unopened letters and notes
From the missing father of her unwanted child
With probable chilling facts they hold in them
Of a childhood spent in absence of beguiled

Amidst the dusty dark feel of the great war
Two lovers united & surrendered to temptation
Greed soon became birth of desire mixed in lust
While the backseat got dominated by frustration

Behind the jumped fences would lay young love
Their bodies nourished with severe ecstasy
Accompanied by the sea of roses in the garden
Ignorant to possibility of a sudden tragedy

With crossed boundaries somewhere way behind
The two lovers departed on a bittersweet note
Oblivious she was perhaps to her first trimester
Was left behind in a village somewhat remote

During the scorching summers of Sliac
Came along a new born outside a wedlock
With reputation on the line and no one to help
Her every second spent in absolute havoc

With the great war then at its worst peak
The last letter came soaked in his own blood
She left the nameless child at a local orphanage
Her lover's souvenir she soon got rid of

On the train to Bratislava accompanied by his letters
The chance of her lost lover's return, slim to none
For conceived he was in a rose garden, my child
However no one did ever promise him one