Friday, October 30, 2015

I Owe You A Father


My Dearest Daughter,

I'm writing to you today because you deserve to know the truth. I couldn't give you much all these years but I thought I should at least tell you the truth about why I couldn't get myself to love you all these years. You gave me many moments of joy and pride. And some filled with tears. But I couldn't get myself to show much emotion and I know all this time you thought you were not worthy of anything. I know it felt like one day I stopped loving you. I know I broke your heart. But I can't say sorry enough times because I feel it won't mean much right now. You're not well. And you need me. You need everyone around you but I can't be there. So I will be consistent this time as well and not be there for you. You can hate me because why would you love me at this point in time? Why would anyone in his/her right mind still care for me?

I don't even know if you still wish to know the answers to questions you've never asked me. Not to my face at least. You grew old before your time because you had to. I was the child and so all of you had to be the adults. I don't know as to what I'm saying anymore...

Maybe we should leave it here. One day I will tell your story to you because you need closure. In the midst of your life you deserve this ending but maybe I'm not ready to write it just yet.

But for all the milestones of your life that I was absent for and the few I attended half-heartedly... I'm truly very sorry.

Happy Belated Birthday.

6 comments:

WomanInLove said...

Beautiflly written..struck a chord somewhere

ruma said...

Hello. Your works is Elegant.
Greetings from Japan. ruma

Auzzie said...

You dont write much anymore. why ?

Rutabish said...

This left me speechless.

MothSmokeLover said...

I do. I just don't share much anymore. Random thoughts.

MothSmokeLover said...

Thank you. A life time of hurt. :)