Monday, June 25, 2012

Silent Screams

In the darkest most haunted dungeon of her heart
Lies that dirty secret of damage and disgrace
Fragments of gloomy memories often unwind
Of nightmares lived through lucent summer days

The abyss of nothingness runs deep within
Bright past often appears blurry suddenly
That ugly darkness hogs from all four corners
And off she goes living that aching memory

Of silent tears the pillow witnessed on many nights
Those cold hands were painting a doleful picture
She would lay awake so exposed in that deep hurt
Tied in her pink skipping rope she'd then surrender

To that evil monster her mother failed to ever mention
In the bedtime stories she would tell every night
Ones of a sad princess in search of her prince charming
Or one with the Evil Queen & that gullible Snow White

The haze around the child got heavier by the night
Fonder memories got lost in the caves of her mind
In and out & out and in the monster's journey began
Thighs covered in blood while joy somewhere behind

Fourteen drawn-out dark nights of pain and capitulation
Swollen eyes, bleeding lips, dreams entirely shattered
A puppet she was, dancing to the tunes of her master
With a smile forever broken and hopes so scattered

Soon the monster moved on to steal new innocence
Helpless she remained scarred for timeless existence
The smell of that devil soon got engraved in her mind
And off that innocent soul went living under a pretense

Nightmares would haunt as she would fall asleep
Monster quickly moved into her shadow so sorrowful
Picking up the pile of broken dreams one at a time
Unable to share, her story not so believable

The abuser never returned but walks around freely
Past often visits in glimpses of fear left unspoken
A memory that refuses to fade away completely
Tormented and hurting she is a child so broken

*Sixteen long years it took to finally write this.


Nina said...

Broke my heart. I feel for that little girl. She'll be in my prayers today.
I applaud your strength in finally writing it. Don't ever give up.

Anonymous said...

I could have written this; should have written this... Have never been able to..

You're far braver than I.. It will help you slay the monster and wipe the tears of the little girl at last..

Winter Song said...

This made me weep, for that girl, for all that she lost, for all that scarred her, and mostly for her shame,and her fear. Kudos for writing it, hope it was cathartic...Unfortunately too many of us can relate to this. May God keep all little girls and little boys safe from harm and all sorts of abuse. Amen

Minya said...

Ah, the Evil Queen.

Woman can do more damage to a girl then man at times, no?

I can pour my heart out here, but i want to be able to sleep at night without tossing and tuning.

So, well written! All the Snow Whites triumph in the end.

Sigh.. In the end, only.

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Zeeshan Ahmed said...

Snow White, wins. With all her wounds, and all her pains, she triumphs. That's how it is. Strength is not skin deep, it resides in the soul.
Stay blessed friend.