About Love

Get rid of the silent mode
And finish that half prose
The one with our little secret
Before somebody starts to dread
So walk through this perfumed sea
Holding hands, just you and me
Like some absolute mad lovers
In this Autumnless October
Know how peacocks dance
Carefree they get, at every chance
Do not doubt how it could be
Just close those eyes & come to me
Let's build walls of our very own essence
And a roof of love that's innocent
So please accept this soliloquy
Of a broken hearted lover's plea

Tumors & Voids

Almost terrified of discovering the consequences
Of what nightmares unfold behind those dark eyes
Some clouds of grey being smoked all day long
And hysterical laughter followed by endless cries

With fragile state of mind, wish I could hold on to him
As it gets secluded at times in this glittery old darn city
Admirable lips, speak of nothing but ache and angst
Battles he has been fighting now since some eternity

Hands so soft, he rests on that cherry finish table
On the one he taps out the tune of sheer loneliness
Wish I had the chance to hold on to them for good
With lines that speak the tales of utter emptiness

Flickering hope I can offer if not anything else
Songs of endless joy we can pretend to sing
Wearing a mask would hide a bit of ugliness
So buckle up tight and let the play begin

With indifference behind and laughter to follow
Starry long summer nights under midnight sky
Let the healing process be at its brink, I suppose
And all the harmless games with absolute joy

So when it comes crashing down, just grab the ashes
Or hold on to the mould of our disasters combined
Glue the debris all together in every way possible
With little pieces of now and then, all intertwined

Cuz even the best place in the world means nothing
If the layers of past ashes simply can not overlap

I Can Almost Reach You

In hope that He will grant you just one more day
I ended up folding a thousand paper cranes for you
We'd create a few last minute blissful moments
With glowing fluorescent light passing through

Self Contempt

Drawing myself closer, coming slowly face to face
To incidents of the past, should I actually retrace?
So I know as to where did begin this phase of depression
In need of a second opinion, though I trust my own discretion
Seated on a red couch in this damn confession room
The shrink wouldn't feel the hurt, I somewhat presume
Profess your pain to me, says Mr. "I know it all"
"There will be no drama", I said, so I will not ball
Its hard as I suffer from the disease of the intellect
An everyday struggle, often resulting in a disconnect
With the inner circle as well as the entire galaxy
My triumphs now resemble some doleful tragedy
As a woman, it is expected you are melancholic
A hint of rationality is often considered hyperbolic
An example of Ophelia & Hamlet is often given to me
Of her unexplained sadness and his complete insanity
I'm told often, this is how it is all supposed to transpire
Stay attractive, act needed, this is what we require
So I frequently analyze that famous Mona Lisa smile
Seems nobody studied that sheer expression of hostile
The rate of this metamorphosis has no possible measure
Though it can be stopped, to life if I were to surrender
He scribbles on, for ten pages as the narration goes on
From what I did the night before, to where I was born
Gives his final verdict, "all is well", says he with a wide grin
Tells me to start all over and let a new chapter begin
I leave his downtown office, passing by an accident site
Wishing I, instead of the victim, had seen the tunnel light
In these tall glass buildings often I see my own reflection
Of unconscious vanity, longing, suffering and rejection
There is greed of knowledge, it is at times never enough
Was forced to choose this path, in the absence of love
Unknowingly the heart is beginning to turn to stone
Imprisoned soul with dreams shattered, I now walk alone
Have to keep breathing, got to wear this pain like a medal
For I'm the one, the so called creator of this sinful devil

Amour-Propre

In the archives of thy lonely mind
Destruction began many ages ago
Pretend of calm on the periphery
And absolute chaos way below

But to experience the sorrow again
You'd supplicate lasting an eternity
Re-living afflict, dejection and illness
And re-tasting all of its diversity

An element of vanity you carried within
That mirror certainly hated thee every night
And late hours, spent in pure admiration
While the body laid awake in destined fright

'Hide your love away', in Lennon's vocals
Dancing bare feet to it, you moved slowly
It's Beatles night tonight, they said on the radio
'Love will find a way', continued the melody

You shocked my being with current of that body
So I got to witness the true madness within
How you let your lonely self befriend my pain
For all I cared, took me for a manic spin

Do not let the spirit divide this time around
Close all windows and lock all the doors
How long will it fight, the poor soul that is
Let it drag around outside the four walls

There's that face so familiar once, I recall
Supplied with excessive pride, for years to last
With the shadow I'd now keep outside my door
Of that atrocious ghost from my modern past

Exclusion

Days spent in the confinement of solitary
Words spelled backwards often involuntary
Oblivious to horrible tragedies all around
Mother do not cry, father do not drown
In sadness now intertwined with this story
Of less bright days for which I'm so very sorry
An empty playground during recess it so seems
Think no one will respond to these silent screams
Imaginary patterns drawn somewhere in the mind
Wish you saw the rare beauty that often unwinds
Instead the gruesome world just sees the chaos
Witnesses the yelling and offers grams of pathos
Perspective it is that stands segregated from them
Some poke fun, give honorary titles of stupid & dumb
But mother do not get sad, and father just pretend
That I'm special and strangers will not understand
Just for today take rest and do not research any cures
Ignore all colorful fliers and all the flashy brochures
With open arms today accept this ill fated realism
And embrace this disorder, or my so called autism

The Bastard Of Slovakia

Surrounded with unopened letters and notes
From the missing father of her unwanted child
With probable chilling facts they hold in them
Of a childhood spent in absence of beguiled

Amidst the dusty dark feel of the great war
Two lovers united & surrendered to temptation
Greed soon became birth of desire mixed in lust
While the backseat got dominated by frustration

Behind the jumped fences would lay young love
Their bodies nourished with severe ecstasy
Accompanied by the sea of roses in the garden
Ignorant to possibility of a sudden tragedy

With crossed boundaries somewhere way behind
The two lovers departed on a bittersweet note
Oblivious she was perhaps to her first trimester
Was left behind in a village somewhat remote

During the scorching summers of Sliac
Came along a new born outside a wedlock
With reputation on the line and no one to help
Her every second spent in absolute havoc

With the great war then at its worst peak
The last letter came soaked in his own blood
She left the nameless child at a local orphanage
Her lover's souvenir she soon got rid of

On the train to Bratislava accompanied by his letters
The chance of her lost lover's return, slim to none
For conceived he was in a rose garden, my child
However no one did ever promise him one