Delilah

In bed next to her thought, I lay awake
With a certain degree of fringed insanity
And a pillow so damp due to these cries
Those call out a tale of her destructive vanity

In half written love notes, there was a quest
To witness my heart's own sweet dismay
The dramatic sessions of truth in her betrayals
Popped bubbles of vulnerability, just to play

And to make me walk on the path of fear
Built from the debris of her everlasting lies
The bubble still did not burst, must I add
Even post witnessing shades of her disguise

Femme Fatale, during those dark rainy nights
With hands so soft, eyes so black and lips so red
Blood stream soaked in whiskey, appearing nude
With rain drops scattered all over her bare back

Minus the struggle, the pain and restlessness
Serpentine murmurs held me in imprisonment
Soul wrapped in cringed desires, she claimed
Creature of the night left me in abandonment

In midst of impending chaos and what's now done
Ascertained, there are no heroes in this tragic story
Well wishers there are in masks, waiting to slaughter
Demonic characters from my past, will never be sorry

Defeated today, I've never felt this stranded
Lost count of all our irredeemable sins
Tried to block echoes that bring me misery
Moral noted, evil prevails hence she's won

About Love

Get rid of the silent mode
And finish that half prose
The one with our little secret
Before somebody starts to dread
So walk through this perfumed sea
Holding hands, just you and me
Like some absolute mad lovers
In this Autumnless October
Know how peacocks dance
Carefree they get, at every chance
Do not doubt how it could be
Just close those eyes & come to me
Let's build walls of our very own essence
And a roof of love that's innocent
So please accept this soliloquy
Of a broken hearted lover's plea

Tumors & Voids

Almost terrified of discovering the consequences
Of what nightmares unfold behind those dark eyes
Some clouds of grey being smoked all day long
And hysterical laughter followed by endless cries

With fragile state of mind, wish I could hold on to him
As it gets secluded at times in this glittery old darn city
Admirable lips, speak of nothing but ache and angst
Battles he has been fighting now since some eternity

Hands so soft, he rests on that cherry finish table
On the one he taps out the tune of sheer loneliness
Wish I had the chance to hold on to them for good
With lines that speak the tales of utter emptiness

Flickering hope I can offer if not anything else
Songs of endless joy we can pretend to sing
Wearing a mask would hide a bit of ugliness
So buckle up tight and let the play begin

With indifference behind and laughter to follow
Starry long summer nights under midnight sky
Let the healing process be at its brink, I suppose
And all the harmless games with absolute joy

So when it comes crashing down, just grab the ashes
Or hold on to the mould of our disasters combined
Glue the debris all together in every way possible
With little pieces of now and then, all intertwined

Cuz even the best place in the world means nothing
If the layers of past ashes simply can not overlap

I Can Almost Reach You

In hope that He will grant you just one more day
I ended up folding a thousand paper cranes for you
We'd create a few last minute blissful moments
With glowing fluorescent light passing through

Self Contempt

Drawing myself closer, coming slowly face to face
To incidents of the past, should I actually retrace?
So I know as to where did begin this phase of depression
In need of a second opinion, though I trust my own discretion
Seated on a red couch in this damn confession room
The shrink wouldn't feel the hurt, I somewhat presume
Profess your pain to me, says Mr. "I know it all"
"There will be no drama", I said, so I will not ball
Its hard as I suffer from the disease of the intellect
An everyday struggle, often resulting in a disconnect
With the inner circle as well as the entire galaxy
My triumphs now resemble some doleful tragedy
As a woman, it is expected you are melancholic
A hint of rationality is often considered hyperbolic
An example of Ophelia & Hamlet is often given to me
Of her unexplained sadness and his complete insanity
I'm told often, this is how it is all supposed to transpire
Stay attractive, act needed, this is what we require
So I frequently analyze that famous Mona Lisa smile
Seems nobody studied that sheer expression of hostile
The rate of this metamorphosis has no possible measure
Though it can be stopped, to life if I were to surrender
He scribbles on, for ten pages as the narration goes on
From what I did the night before, to where I was born
Gives his final verdict, "all is well", says he with a wide grin
Tells me to start all over and let a new chapter begin
I leave his downtown office, passing by an accident site
Wishing I, instead of the victim, had seen the tunnel light
In these tall glass buildings often I see my own reflection
Of unconscious vanity, longing, suffering and rejection
There is greed of knowledge, it is at times never enough
Was forced to choose this path, in the absence of love
Unknowingly the heart is beginning to turn to stone
Imprisoned soul with dreams shattered, I now walk alone
Have to keep breathing, got to wear this pain like a medal
For I'm the one, the so called creator of this sinful devil

Amour-Propre

In the archives of thy lonely mind
Destruction began many ages ago
Pretend of calm on the periphery
And absolute chaos way below

But to experience the sorrow again
You'd supplicate lasting an eternity
Re-living afflict, dejection and illness
And re-tasting all of its diversity

An element of vanity you carried within
That mirror certainly hated thee every night
And late hours, spent in pure admiration
While the body laid awake in destined fright

'Hide your love away', in Lennon's vocals
Dancing bare feet to it, you moved slowly
It's Beatles night tonight, they said on the radio
'Love will find a way', continued the melody

You shocked my being with current of that body
So I got to witness the true madness within
How you let your lonely self befriend my pain
For all I cared, took me for a manic spin

Do not let the spirit divide this time around
Close all windows and lock all the doors
How long will it fight, the poor soul that is
Let it drag around outside the four walls

There's that face so familiar once, I recall
Supplied with excessive pride, for years to last
With the shadow I'd now keep outside my door
Of that atrocious ghost from my modern past

Exclusion

Days spent in the confinement of solitary
Words spelled backwards often involuntary
Oblivious to horrible tragedies all around
Mother do not cry, father do not drown
In sadness now intertwined with this story
Of less bright days for which I'm so very sorry
An empty playground during recess it so seems
Think no one will respond to these silent screams
Imaginary patterns drawn somewhere in the mind
Wish you saw the rare beauty that often unwinds
Instead the gruesome world just sees the chaos
Witnesses the yelling and offers grams of pathos
Perspective it is that stands segregated from them
Some poke fun, give honorary titles of stupid & dumb
But mother do not get sad, and father just pretend
That I'm special and strangers will not understand
Just for today take rest and do not research any cures
Ignore all colorful fliers and all the flashy brochures
With open arms today accept this ill fated realism
And embrace this disorder, or my so called autism