Saturday, November 10, 2012

Solitary Confinement

The human body is very much like a hospital. Any hospital. Some areas are extremely busy and some are more laid back. Seems like the body works in shifts as well. When its day time the heart rate is usually faster and all the Neurons and Nephrons are trying to get somewhere but at a faster speed & as compensation the speed goes down as the night rolls out. That's how a hospital is as well. You will see everyone running around like crazy during the day but will witness more empty hallways during the night because most people stay home. But the fact remains that like our bodies ...a hospital for sure slows down but never shuts down completely.

We all have to get to places during the day. Everyone is rushing to be somewhere. To catch a bus. To meet the love of their life. To get to that interview 15 minutes before so they can leave a good impression. To show up to work on time. We are all on a mission here. We all have to get to places because believe it or not we all have a story. And then the unexpected happens. To us. To people around us. We always think it will be someone we don't know but that's where life proves us wrong.

They bring  patients into the ER all the time. Really critical patients at times. Patients with heart failure or gun shots or Strokes or miscarriages or cardiac arrests or even car accidents. All kinds of people come here on a stretcher. If they are lucky they don't make it. And if they are not then they live through the trauma. What is a trip to the ER anyway for a terminally ill patient? Its like the team around him or her is trying to buy him some more time.That's all life is at the end of the day. You try to dodge death and buy sometime for that patient. Sewing wounds and putting them on blood thinners is just a way to work around it.

This path begins with a lot of people. There is a team working to fix the problem or rather control the problem. Once things are under control they sew the wound. They put a white bandage on it. And if the patient is lucky there is/are family/friends waiting on the other side. But recovery isn't an easy path. Injury is the easy part. You have a team working with/on you to fix whats wrong there. And when you wake up there are people who are there to spend time with you and take care of you. But then recovery is a very lonely path. Its a very personal and internal process and you're pretty much on your own.

Its like those empty hospital corridors at night. Lonely and scary. Your mind wanders into a lot of things while passing through there. Its unpredictable. Its dark and its very quiet in there. You get to listen to yourself for a change but sometimes you don't want to do that. The inner noise is much worse than the outer noise and recovery reminds you of that.

You learn to walk and talk again. You develop interpersonal skills all over again. You learn to be patient with yourself and with others. You learn to communicate differently and above all you learn to accept that people will now look at you differently.

You are a work in progress but a very different kind of a work. A very fragile and damaged one. This trauma is life long. The solitude. The path on which you walk alone...

Its the betrayal of the body. One of the worst types of betrayals if you ask me.


Ankur said...

You raise a very interesting point - the betrayal of the body. You know we go through life, and we learn to live with people (the others) letting us down, but when your own body fails you, it would feel like the worst kind of betrayal !
This was very different from your usual genre and I wondered what brought it about ?

Zeeshan Ahmed said...

Top stuff. Particularly, this "Its the betrayal of the body. One of the worst types of betrayals if you ask me."