Bittersweet Adrenaline Rush

Inside that beige tent of life

True nature of these bright colors lies

Here I am in a borrowed candy floss costume

Hiding away the pain with scent of my cheap perfume

In old ripped pink ballet shoes

Perfectly complimenting my cheek's hue

You the world are here to poke fun at my act tonight

Others I must add are here to merely write

About the petite thin chested dancers, the lions & the colors

Though some think we're not worth their precious dollar

Now here comes the adrenaline rush

Entering the brain with a gush of blood

With the lights dimmed, the act finally begins

The performers in the beaded costumes come flyin' in

Amidst this chaos my task is to walk on a thin rope tonight

Wondering isn't that what I have been doing all my life?

With my head held high I walk on by

On a rope that's as high as the vanilla sky

With juggling glossy balls up in the air

Lost in my own friggin' despair

Walking nervously half way through

Slipping almost saying my adieu

To this stage, to friends and enemies in masks

Distracting myself, thinking of the wine cask

Hidden somewhere in my home's basement

With engravings of love, I'm getting impatient

Perhaps its resting by the old cherry finish book shelf

Somewhere on Jewel street in my hometown of Philadelph

I stumble again, my fear exposed to the world

Caught up again in the circus whirl

About five feet away from my destination

Don't think tonight I won the crowd's admiration

My solace drips through my sweat, its that real

Like my wounds and scars that just wouldn't heal

Holding on to my desires in my so called butter fingers

Never been this fragile, help me oh Lord dear

The enzyme of hope that runs through my system

Of lovemaking nights and what I can become

Instead of a sad circus act I perform night after night

Time will change there must be something more in life

Almost there about two feet away

Breathing in the air of my own dismay

Trying to find the balance I now lack in life

This tainted reputation will not be revived

The crowd changes its mind and cheers me on

Away from the limelight I'm a bit withdrawn

Some of 'em say she lives the life of pure fantasy

I say let their screams be my pathetic fallacy

Taking my last step finally reaching the end

The end from which my tomorrow shall begin

In state of mourning staring down at the crowd from above

They reciprocate with applause, cheers and love

So this is my fake world of lions, magic and fame

With exotic dancers, glittery costumes and ragging flames

A life lived on extremes with happiness subtract

And that's the story of how I became a circus act