Monday, May 23, 2011

Bittersweet Adrenaline Rush

Inside that beige tent of life
True nature of these bright colors lies
Here I am in a borrowed candy floss costume
Hiding away the pain with scent of my cheap perfume
In old ripped pink ballet shoes
Perfectly complimenting my cheek's hue
You the world are here to poke fun at my act tonight
Others I must add are here to merely write
About the petite thin chested dancers, the lions & the colors
Though some think we're not worth their precious dollar
Now here comes the adrenaline rush
Entering the brain with a gush of blood
With the lights dimmed, the act finally begins
The performers in the beaded costumes come flyin' in
Amidst this chaos my task is to walk on a thin rope tonight
Wondering isn't that what I have been doing all my life?
With my head held high I walk on by
On a rope that's as high as the vanilla sky
With juggling glossy balls up in the air
Lost in my own friggin' despair
Walking nervously half way through
Slipping almost saying my adieu
To this stage, to friends and enemies in masks
Distracting myself, thinking of the wine cask
Hidden somewhere in my home's basement
With engravings of love, I'm getting impatient
Perhaps its resting by the old cherry finish book shelf
Somewhere on Jewel street in my hometown of Philadelph
I stumble again, my fear exposed to the world
Caught up again in the circus whirl
About five feet away from my destination
Don't think tonight I won the crowd's admiration
My solace drips through my sweat, its that real
Like my wounds and scars that just wouldn't heal
Holding on to my desires in my so called butter fingers
Never been this fragile, help me oh Lord dear
The enzyme of hope that runs through my system
Of lovemaking nights and what I can become
Instead of a sad circus act I perform night after night
Time will change there must be something more in life
Almost there about two feet away
Breathing in the air of my own dismay
Trying to find the balance I now lack in life
This tainted reputation will not be revived
The crowd changes its mind and cheers me on
Away from the limelight I'm a bit withdrawn
Some of 'em say she lives the life of pure fantasy
I say let their screams be my pathetic fallacy
Taking my last step finally reaching the end
The end from which my tomorrow shall begin
In state of mourning staring down at the crowd from above
They reciprocate with applause, cheers and love
So this is my fake world of lions, magic and fame
With exotic dancers, glittery costumes and ragging flames
A life lived on extremes with happiness subtract
And that's the story of how I became a circus act


Felicity said...

I'm not a great fan of poetry but this was awesome. :)

Ankur said...

This is anything but juvenile...
It is some serious stuff you have put out here...
I think this is easily one of your best so far. Amazing attention to the visual imagery and the little details !!

MothSmokeLover said...

@ Felicity - Thank you so much!

@ Ankur - Thanks a lot for liking it so much.