Here's the thing... Its a big city. With lights and big malls. With highways and fancy cars. With busy restaurants and exotic menus. With trains running every 30 seconds and with people walking countless miles. That's the thing with big cities. We work our asses off. But when the day comes to an end here's an other thing about big cities... it sometimes get very lonely. Its true. You and I both know when that happens.
But here's the thing... when that happens I turn to you. I have no other choice. Even if I did have a choice I would still turn to you. Because you understand me so damn well. I don't know this is really off topic but I feel that sometimes when you have too much going on a feeling of emptiness sort of takes over. Its ironic but it happens sometimes. You and I both know when that happens.
Here's the scary thing.. I think I am losing my touch. More than that I feel like I am losing myself. The fear of losing myself is eating me inside out. And there's nothing I can do that would reverse the effect of this feeling. I feel ugly. I look ugly. I don't know what I am saying anymore. I start from one thing and end at something totally unrelated. It has become my thing. Its true. You and I both know that it has been happening a lot lately.
I am sitting in your terrace. Here's the thing though...Its funny no one really uses the word terrace around here. Its strange. After all it is a strange city. With strange weather. With strange buildings and strange street names. With strange cars and strange people. Its a city of strangers. I don't know. I feel like an outsider here. Its strange. You know that feeling. I think you feel awkward as well. So its good then. You and I both agree that this is a strange city.
Here's the thing with life. Its quite content. No complaints. Between working crazy hours and running to evening classes... its all good. Burnt out some would say? But its okay. Cuz who isn't burnt out in such big cities? I don't know anyone who isn't. And I know a lot of people so that says something too you know. But here's the thing though... in the midst of living a busier life than ever... you and I both know this for sure..
We were much happier when we were absolutely miserable.
Its true. We both are such complicated paradoxes. And that's something You and I are for sure.